Disorder in the Court (will make you at least smile)

These are from a book called Disorder in the Court. These are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters
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Q: What is your date of birth?
Ans: July fifteenth.
Q: What year?
Ans: Every year.
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Q: How old is your son, the one living with you?
Ans: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
Q: How long has he lived with you?
Ans: Forty-five years.
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Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke up that morning?
Ans: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
Q: And why did that upset you?
Ans: My name is Susan.
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Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
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Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?
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Q: She had three children, right?
Ans: Yes.
Q: How many were boys?
Ans: None.
Q: Were there any girls?
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Q: Can you describe the individual?
Ans: He was about medium height and had a beard.
Q: Was this a male, or a female?
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Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
Ans: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.
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Q: All your responses must be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
Ans: Oral.
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Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
Ans: No.
Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
Ans: No.
Q: Did you check for breathing?
Ans: No.
Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
Ans: No.
Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
Ans: Because his brain was picked up from the scene and put on my desk in a jar.
Q: But could the patient have still been alive, never the less?
Ans: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere, asking people questions like those you just asked me now.

NOTE: More stuff to your delight will keep on be coming.