Want to have some nice time ? Have a minute

If I was in America and had an American wife . . .

My wife and I have the secret to making a marriage last. Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, drinks of choice, good food…She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.

Someone stole all my credit cards, but I won’t be reporting it. The thief spends less than my wife did.

I asked my wife, “Where do you want to go for our anniversary?” She said, “Somewhere I have never been!” I told her, “How about the kitchen?”

She has an electric blender, electric toaster, and electric bread maker. Then she said, “There are too many gadgets, and no place to sit down!” So what did I do? Bought her an electric chair.